The Writing Lab

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The Writing Lab

Post  Samuel Kircher on Tue Apr 13, 2010 9:53 pm

Well, ever since Ethan asked us for a constructive critique of his writing prowess, I figured I would do the same. I have had a recent urge to improve my writing, and I'd ask you all for help on it just as Ethan has for his. However, I don't really care to hear what I'm doing right (though I won't stop you from saying so), so much as what I need to improve upon (in your educated opinions). I feel that if I can't build my skill with the written word at least a notch or two higher, I am in danger of dragging down the narrative of our story with only "adequate" input.

I've got a real motivation to be better on this site, and with your help, I think I can take positive steps in that direction.
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Samuel Kircher
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Re: The Writing Lab

Post  Ethan Ramey on Mon Apr 19, 2010 4:01 pm

Your writing is technically masterful, but it lacks personality. It gives me a lot of information but I don't come out feeling like I really have a sense of the characters or the environs afterwards. I can't recommend any steps to rectify that, because everyone has a distinctive way they invade their own writing, but I would recommend focusing on that aspect of it.
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Ethan Ramey
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Re: The Writing Lab

Post  Jessamine Blake on Sun Apr 25, 2010 7:55 pm

I agree with Mr. Ramey in some respects. You're not bad with grammar, spelling, syntax, and all the basic mechanics of writing, but there doesn't seem to be any substance to back up the mechanics. Also, occasionally the elements you choose to employ seem a bit too cliched and/or convenient to be believable. I would suggest looking at ways you can breathe new life into old characters, or possibly giving your characters some of the idiosyncracies that exist in everyday people.

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"[These]...settlers are churlish types who are accustomed to live apart from each other, as neither fathers nor sons associate with each other."
--Fermín de Mendinueta, Governor of the New Mexico Territory, c. 1776.
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Jessamine Blake
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Re: The Writing Lab

Post  Samuel Kircher on Fri May 07, 2010 7:40 pm

The feedback (all 2 of them) is appreciated. I'm going to be in an experimental phase with my next few posts, trying to inject more flavor into the bland lawman. I ask for patience from this community, as I aim to be a more dynamic writer that can positively contribute to the atmosphere that we've created.
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